Scott Hanselman's Computer Zen

This of course, has little to do with South Africa specifically and more to do with travelling. In large cities, it also has little to do with water cleanliness. If you are African and you come to the US and drink tap water you are taking a chance that you'll encounter a bug you haven't seen before. I have apparently encountered this bug and insulted its mother, and it's taken it personally. I am OK only when on my back and unconscious. All other positions or levels of awake are a world of pain and nausea.

My uncle just set out yesterday for Harare, Zimbabwe in his truck to bring food and water to our relatives that are left. He's going for 7 days and he is taking 15 liters of bottled water just for himself. The line at Beitbridge to get into Zim is apparently 3km long. It's back to back cars, just waiting in the heat, right in the middle of the Cholera outbreak. I'm feeling crappy, but I hope that our Uncle makes it back safely.

You know you are really, really sick when you can't remember what well feels like. Was I ever well? What does it feel like to eat food and process it appropriately? Will I ever know again?

Here's hoping. ;)

The General Distribution Release with fixes for .NET 3.5 SP1 is up, albeit a bit late, as downloadable content on Microsoft.com.  Note that this is an application compatibility release, and these downloads aren't setup to be friendly to end users.

If you are a developer affected by an issue, you can download these updates. If you aren't affected, I suggest you wait - this is not the way the vast majority of customers will get this fix. Wait until these updates come down via Windows Update next year. As of today, we are still on track for 2009Q1 availability of 3.5 SP1 on Windows Update, and at that point you'll see machines with .NET start updating to .NET 3.5 SP1 with this additional GDR applied.

You can download the packages for the app-compat GDR here. The KB is KB959209 and it should be updated soon with details.

Windows Vista, Windows 2008 Server - x86, x64, IA64

Windows XP, Windows Server 2003 - x86, x64, IA64

I am still on vacation in Africa so I haven't got details yet on registry keys for detection of the GDR, so bear with me. I'll try to get those details ASAP, as well as how to integrate these fixes into your setup if need be.

I am writing this sitting on a plane between Joburg and Cape Town, on the way to a User Group meeting to talk about ASP.NET MVC. As I said at the Joburg User Group meeting, ASP.NET MVC is young and we (that is, we the community, not just We, the Microsoft) are still learning about what a "pretty" or aesthetically pleasing MVC application looks like. We have some ASP.NET MVC OSS apps, some Monorail apps, some Rails apps to look to, some Django and Java apps, but we are still finding our way in our spin on this old pattern.

There are still a number of ViewEngines that aren't the default WebFormsViewEngine that are growing in popularity. Folks are familiarizing themselves with the Repository Pattern and other patterns. Folks who had heard of Dependency Injection but hadn't used it are starting to use it. Testability still isn't foremost on many minds.

There are certainly Alpha Geeks, Loud Programmers, or just Talented ones that are impatient with both Microsoft and the community. Why can't they just go from Point A to Point C and skip B?

ASP.NET is mature, and ASP.NET MVC is new. We are all learning, every day. Many folks put themselves out there, in public by sharing their experiences. Quentin Tarentino said:

"He who is most likely to make declarative statements is most likely to be called a fool in retrospect."

There's a lot of Twittering and Blogging going on about Oxite, a new Open Source CMS from a group within Microsoft. It's getting a lot of press, some deserved certainly, but mostly hyperbole. "Microsoft takes dead aim at Wordpress?" Seriously, come on. How come DasBlog or SubText doesn't get that kind of hyperbolic love? ;) "Microsoft predicts DasBlog Global Dominance." (kidding!)

I would encourage you to download the source for Oxite, as I would encourage you to download and read all ASP.NET MVC Open Source applications. Develop your own sense of Code Smell by reading, writing and learning from people you trust. Just because it's called Official ASP.NET MVC Petshop or Contoso MVC Bank or even MVC Storefront doesn't make it gospel.

If you think Oxite or an app that ScottGu created for his blog is the File | New Company project you've been looking for, you'll be disappointed. It doesn't exist yet. Even if it did, you'll likely never be able to Copy/Paste your way to glory.

Oxite is Open Source. If you don't like it, and there are very valid reasons today for concern, I would sincerely encourage you to refactor it and share the results. Follow the project and see what the next release looks like. Just like the ongoing BabySmash saga, let's work as a team to learn what ASP.NET MVC Patterns and Anti-Patterns are. All code has the potential to provide guidance, but you decide if it's a pattern or an anti-pattern. It doesn't matter if Don Box or ScottGu himself wrote it.

I think the team that built it would appreciate it if lots of folks blogged their own "Oxite Code Review" post with improvements and commentary. I want to point you to Rob Conery's most excellent analysis of the situation, and the Oxite code. His review is unblinking, fair, honest, while still kind in tone. Those Hawaiians are just so darned nice.

Javier had an excellent comment on Rob's blog here that reminds me again of BabySmash. I wrote BabySmash wrong, on purpose, with a WinForms-state of mind. I am still working on it today, as it just doesn't smell right.

I think one important thing to note is that Oxite serves as a good example of viewing an MVC implementation from a "WebForms state of mind". This is just my thoughts but I think it would be beneficial to take Oxite and ALTer it a bit to show the flexibility of the MVC framework.

It is a non-trivial think to put oneself, or one's code, out into public. Sometimes it's great, sometimes not so much. But fair, even harsh, criticism can still be constructive and positive. Don't be afraid, Dear Reader, to share your code if you've got it. Some will say it sucks, some will built a corporation around it. Ultimately you have to ask yourself if it was good code, if you learned from it, and if you'd write code like it again.

Rob, ScottGu, Dave Ward and Michael Bach and I are working on an ASP.NET MVC site. It'll be open source, and it'll likely make some percentage of you happy, and some percentage of you sad. Hopefully there will be more of the former, and the latter will share their wisdom and experience and help us make it better. I like being a part of this community for that reason.

The Ruby community's spiritual leader, Matz, is legendarily kind and deferential. As Allan Stevens points out, they say "minswan" meaning "Matz is nice, so we are nice." That definitely jives with the feeling of "ubuntu" and community I'm getting here in Africa.

Be nice, my friends. Write good code, and stay in touch.

I now return me to my regularly scheduled vacation in Africa.

Soweto means South Western Township. I drove the family to the Maponya Mall in Soweto today for an outing. From the city's website:

Soweto is the most populous black urban residential area in the country, with Census 2001 putting its population at 896 995. Thanks to its proximity to Johannesburg, the economic hub of the country, it is also the most metropolitan township in the country - setting trends in politics, fashion, music, dance and language

Soweto celebrated its hundredth birthday in October 2004. A chronology of key events, the June 1976 uprising, and the centenary celebrations.

The city has made the redevelopment of Soweto a major priority, including electrification, tarring of roads, and the building of public facilities and housing.

You may think of ghettos and shacks when you hear the word Soweto, and if you look for them you'll find them, but I've really noticed a difference in Soweto in recent years. I haven't got a tale of rich people visiting poor people as a form of tourism. The mall was as nice a mall as I've ever been to, including malls in Asia (which are REALLY nice). We didn't go to the cultural center (yet) or Mandela's house. We went to the mall. And it was lovely.

There's a rising black middle class, and they were all at the mall today. The whole place was decked out for the holidays, which I find slightly funny because it's quite hot and I just think snow when it's Christmas. Anyway, there was a huge tree in the center part of the mall.

We ate for a very reasonable price at Nando's, which is way better than KFC. We fed a group of 10 for less than US$30, as the US$ to the Rand is a favorable 1:10, as opposed to the 1:6 or 1:7 it's been on previous trips.

One of the things that strikes me about the mall in Soweto is how "put together" everyone is. Great outfits, cute hair, folks are fit and sharp. I felt underdressed, completely. If you go out, you'd better look nice.

I did also feel White, as I was alone in that sense, but didn't feel uncomfortable. It was actually very interesting (as it always is) as it's a reminder as to how my wife feels. As a white guy, it was like dropping into the movie "White Man's Burden," or a photo negative. I was effectively an albino. One actually forgets one's color in these situations, and after a few weeks if I pass a mirror it takes a second to remember my pastiness. Fortunately I am sporting a pretty darn good beard so I'm brown from the neck up. ;)

The Soweto mall has everything any other mall in the world, so it was great for Christmas shopping. My wife's younger brothers are moving out of the house so we are in the market for a fridge for their apartment.

Not a really exciting post, this, but rather a mundane story about holiday commerce. We drove to Soweto, we shopped, we returned. I drove on the left. This was my day, until tomorrow. If you visit Joburg, definitely check out Maponya Mall in Soweto.

Taxis in South Africa are not safe. I'm not talking about metered cabs, I'm talking about what we called "ETs" or Emergency Taxis in Zimbabwe. Basically Minibuses on a fixed route, stuff with people. Almost always Black People.

For many (most?) this is the only way to get around. You've either got a car, walk, or take a Taxi. There are nearly 130,000 taxis in RSA. They have no seat belts, or the belts are not used. They often run with the doors open. Once in Zimbabwe I was asked to hold the passenger side door to look shut as it had fallen off the hinges.

They'll pack you in like you've never been packed into a vehicle. You'll sit on laps and hang off the side. You'll hold on for dear life and listen to fights and honks. Sometimes a cab will encroach on another's turf and you're in the middle of it.

You stand by the side of the road in known, but unlabeled spots, and you make a hand signal. Point a finger up to say you want to go to town. A finger pointed down if you want a local taxi for somewhere near. There's many hand signs that you just pick up as lore. For example, there's a route down the street that will take me to the Clearwater Mall for 6 Rand (about 60 US cents) per person. I hold one finger down, and say "NgiyaeClearwater" to make sure they are going that way, and I'm off. I could just say "Clearwater" or speak English, but I feel that if I speak Zulu, or whatever the local language is, depending on where you are catching the taxi, that I'll be less likely to be messed with or talked about. This might just be me, but I've found that if you have a great accent with even a few words, folks assume you're totally fluent until proven otherwise. I'm not...I have the Zulu-speaking abilities of a kindergartener, but I can click effectively.

So far, in eight years, I've seen two other white folks in taxis. It's apparently just not done. I've also been harassed (in Zulu) by a drunk man who said "they take our land and now they are riding in our taxis."

All this said, I wouldn't recommend taxis in South Africa if you have another option.

I've been driving around Johannesburg getting my head used to driving on the left side (I credit my excellent hand-eye coordination to many years of video game playing. I can "remap" very easily) and after a trip this afternoon to Makro (the South Africa "Costco" giant wholesale warehouse equivalent) I returned home to find no less than twenty souls in the house.

I am immersed in Black (mostly Zulu, but some Sotho) culture here, so I can't speak to White South African culture, but from what I can tell, when someone is in town, Black Folks come over. We had visitors from Lesotho, from Pretoria, from Zimbabwe, from all over.

All of this is a culture shock to me each time. It's at once comforting and grating. Predictable and chaotic. Here's the parts, even after nearly a decade of marriage, that I haven't gotten used to.

What's for Dinner?

Folks just show up. No call, no write, just, hey, what's for dinner? But the interesting part is that dinner is never mentioned. People arrive and sit on the couch. The meal is completely implied. We had a meal at 4pm. We'd already had lunch, and we had dinner planned, but there was a "critical mass" of humans, and food started showing up. At some point we were having a braai. Someone started looking for a goat to slaughter, while someone else starting wondering if it was allowed in city limits.

Relatives arrived, each one that showed up brought five others we couldn't quite place. So-in-so's uncle's ex-wife's daughter's sister and the like. And their three kids. And they stay. For a long time.

There are a couple of things I can hear my father saying, in my head, that would never be said in South Africa.

"Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out."

"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

Folks may scandalize and gossip, but they'll never let you go hungry or without a place to sleep in South Africa.

Start Inflating Beds

At some point it's clear that folks aren't leaving so inflatable air beds are brought out. Blankets appear from no where. More blankets that you'd think could comfortably fit in a normal sized house. I don't know where they come from nor where they disappear to, but sleeping quarters are quickly assembled by social pecking order.

If you're a teenager, you get whatever couch or scrap of floor is left. If you're an elder, you get a proper bed. Boys under 30 on air mattresses, families in rooms, girls on couches, everyone else find a spot. Just wait until morning as folks get up earlier and earlier to try to be the first in the bath. Sucks to run out of hot water in a three bedroom house with 19 people.

Women in the Kitchen, Men in Front of the TV

At some point, like silt separating while panning for gold, the house starts to split with women in the kitchen area and men in the living area. Or, manning the braai/bbq. Grunt. Men. Fire!

Oddly, as a Sensitive White Man, it's a little unclear where I am supposed to be, so I end up flitting between the two. The women don't find me threatening, rather they find me fascinating and I'm peppered with questions. The men are disappointed to learn I can't even fake caring about soccer. Ah, the Pirates! No, Ajax! No, Bosso! Ah, whatever. Is Manchester a valid answer? Did we get a home run?

Who moved my Cheese?

My wife loves Flakes and Crunchies. You can find them in the states, but they are definitely a specialty item. Certainly not available everywhere. We try to get a box and smuggle them back to the states when we go. I bought her five Flakes today and put them in the fridge so they wouldn't melt in this oppressive Christmas weather. I went to tell her about them, and literally by the time I'd returned there was one left, and four wrappers strewn about.

In the US Judicial System you are "innocent until proven guilty" but this is reversed in many countries. In my household and in the households I've been raised in, food in the fridge is "someone else's unless you know it's yours." Here, it seems, that anything not bolted down or labeled is edible.

I have since hidden my stash of Black Cat Peanut Snacks under my pillow.

My one-hundred-and-forty-second podcast is up. Scott's on holiday in South Africa with his family this month. Rather than doing repeats or "best of" shows, Scott's doing man-on-the-street interviews and uploading them over cell phone. In this episode, Scott talks to Vusi, an IT sales manager from Johannesburg.

Subscribe:

• Download: MP3 Full Show #142
• Play in your browser.

Do also remember the complete archives are always up and they have PDF Transcripts, a little known feature that show up a few weeks after each show.

Telerik is our sponsor for this show!

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As I've said before this show comes to you with the audio expertise and stewardship of Carl Franklin. The name comes from Travis Illig, but the goal of the show is simple. Avoid wasting the listener's time. (and make the commute less boring)

Yesterday a car full of young, white boys slowed along side my mixed family as we walked from the mall, slowly lit a firecracker and threw it at us.

I saw the whole thing happening in slow-motion, time didn't speed up until the boys sped off. In retrospect I have had all sorts of fantasies of grapping the firecracker and throwing it back in their car, or stepping on it. I knew what it was and what was happening as it was happening, but it was all in the space of maybe 5 seconds.

All the stream of consciousness...Why are they slowing? Hm, white folks in the car. Hm, five blond boys, maybe high-school age. Why do they have a lighter? They are smoking? Ah, they are disposing of a cigarette. Why would they light it and then immediately throw it out? That's a firecracker! They are throwing it at us. Why are they smiling? They are speeding up. Put my body between the car and the boys....wince. Everyone jumps. Didn't think to get the license plate. What would I have done with the number anyway? Feels like the police in the states would take this seriously. Too many boys in that car. Teenagers are stupid, but multiple teenagers are dangerously stupid. Being on my guard 24-7 is taking a toll on me. My head aches.

I am very disappointed, and very sad. Fortunately my three-year-old isn't old enough to understand that this marks a first in his life.

It's always a challenge when leaving home to find connectivity. We've got Fiber Optic to the house in the states (20Mbs/20Mbs) and unlimited nu3G tethering via phone while roaming. Even then, there are SO many open WiFi spots in the states, it's easy to get connected when away. Frankly, the only place in the states that has horrific connection speeds are hotels!

Speaking of hotel connectivity, recently in New Zealand was I charged US$25 for 50 megabytes (total transfer!) per day. I wasn't able to even start sync'ing Outlook with that cap.

The last few days here in South Africa I've been trying to figure out how I am/was going to transfer my 100-300 megabyte audio files for the next three weeks of the Hanselminutes podcast.

I went to a local mall and used their internet cafe and while it was reasonably price at 10 Rand (US$1) for 15 minutes, the maximum GET or POST was 2 Megs. I couldn't even download my favorite FTP program, much less upload a few gigs of audio over the next month.

My new friend Mario from the SADeveloper helped me get connected without breaking the bank. We started with a Huawei E220 HSDPA USB Modem. It's a real basic modem, but like most 3G modems, it has the software you need on a flash disk inside the device. You plug it in, it's recognized as a disk. Then you run the setup, and the software handles dialing and connectivity.

But, I've gone too far ahead already. The modem doesn't include a SIM card. It has an empty slot for one on the side. You can get a Vodacom SIM Card for 1 Rand (10 cents US) pretty much anywhere. We got it at a bookstore. Then, we went to a Vodashop and had the guy behind the counter activate the SIM with his phone.

The trick is that you buy minutes then convert the minutes to pay-as-you-go data on a non-contract data plan. You can add minutes two ways. There are some places that can push the minutes into your SIM without a phone which is the situation I'm in. Or, you can use any phone, put your SIM it in and dial *111#. You'll get a menu that will let you purchase data plan megabytes with your minutes. I was able to buy 3 gigabytes of transfer for about US$60. Not cheap, but not oppressively expensive.

I've turned off the Windows Update service as well as images in my browser. I've also switch to mobile versions of some sites like Twitter or CNN, to save bandwidth. Perhaps that's penny-wise, pound-foolish, but that's me.

The toughest thing for me when travelling long distances is crossing more than two or more time zones. I'm a Type 1 Diabetic and I wear both an insulin pump and a CGM (Continuous Glucose Meter) 24 hours a day.

Time Zones and Blood Sugar

The body has a number of times in the day when blood sugar rises and falls naturally. For example, glucose is release into your system before dawn to encourage your body to wake up. For normal folks, this is no big deal, as you've got the insulin to keep things in check. For a diabetic, this means that my blood sugar will rise starting around 5am, and run relatively unchecked until at least 9am. I need to program my pump to deliver a compensating dose of insulin.

Stated differently, my blood sugar has a natural daily, cyclic curve. I need to match that curve (ignoring meals at this point) with insulin, basically using "curve math" to subtract one from the other and end up with smooth blood sugars all day. The first curve is the body's natural intent, or natural direction. The other is the compensating insulin needed. (This is all simplified, but it'll do for this post):

However, if I change time zones, like in this case where I moved 10 time zones East, the body doesn't get the message for a week or two. You, Dear Reader, as a non-diabetic usually don't notice this, from a blood sugar perspective. You might have a light night craving as your system knows it's dinner time when it's really 3am, but for the most part, you've got it made. 

For Type 1 Diabetics (who don't produce any of their own insulin) it's a hassle, as we'll have (seemingly) random spikes in blood sugar in the first week or more of a trip, as the body releases glucose into the system attempting to wake me up.

For example, at 4pm here in South Africa, I'll start seeing my blood sugar rise as it'll be 6am on the West Coast of the US. I'll have the Pre-Dawn effect in the middle of the day.

If I'm not careful and program my pump (or take shots) correctly, I can end up like this with everything shifted by many hours:

This can make for a roller coaster. It gets worse because the graph shifts an hour or so every day as I get oriented to local time. I can almost feel my "body" floating, moving slowly east over the Atlantic for the first week as I expose myself to as much light as possible in order to reset my circadian rhythms.

If you're a Type 1, possibly on a pump, I'd suggest that changing your pump to local destination time as soon as you get on the plane can help. I'd also try to eat as if you're on local time. For us, it took a little under 2 days to get here, and that time spent in the plane can be orientation time.

Reduced Usage

One other thing to watch for is daily insulin usage. I use about 30-40U (Units) of insulin, total, per day. Some use more, some use less. This a typical number for a reasonably fit guy my size. If I gain weight or lose muscle mass I'll use more insulin to accomplish the same goal of stable blood sugar.

Every time I go overseas my daily need for insulin goes down. So far, while I've been here, I've used daily amounts like 19U, 21U. That's a 33-50% improvement!  And, each time I come here I try to reproduce my results back home. So far I figure it's a (obvious) combination of:

• Eat less
• Walk more
• Be less stress

For the life of me, I have never been able to get numbers in the US like I get in Africa. A friend of my has a theory that it has something to do with allergies. The area in the Northwest of the US that I'm from is legendary for really bad allergies. Some people check the pollen index like others check the weather. HIs theory is that the allergens are so great that they divert the attention of immune system and/or cause systemic stress, causing the body to use insulin less effectively.

I'm not sure what it is, but it'd be interesting to do some more organized experiments. I suspect it's 90% less stress, or at least, different stress than work stress. I'm hoping when I retire I'll have blood sugar like I have out here.

It might be a little hard to see in the picture at right, but that's my Zune hooked up to a TV in South Africa using a standard camcorder cable. That's that kind that looks like a 1/8" headphone connector on one end, and a yellow/red/white RCA cable on the other side.

NOTE: With both the Zune and the iPod, in order to maintain compatibility with headphones, they've reversed the Video and Right Audio Channel, so you need to plug Red into Yellow and Yellow into Red. Trial and error will set you straight. Or, you can pay them $50 for a cable that's already switched. I just used a standard $2 one that my brother in law had in a junk drawer.

Most MP3/MP4 players have this kind of awesomeness built in. I greatly prefer ones that use the headphone jack for video, as I don't like carrying docks or special cables around. Most players, the Zune and iPod included, have settings for NTSC and PAL video output. South Africa uses PAL, so I had to go into Settings and tell the Zune to output.

One difference between the Zune and iPod is that the Zune switches it's output completely to the TV, including menus. It also resizes the menus to a 4:3 ratio (rather than the Zune's vertical 3:4). The iPod I have switches to video output on a video by video basis.

I brought my first generation 30 gig brown Zune, upgraded to the 3.1 firmware with my Zune Pass loaded. I loaded up 20 or so gigs of my relatives favorite genres as well as 15 hours of news video and audio podcasts for myself. I also like to take the video podcast of the daily news when I travel. It 's nice to share our local news with local friends where we're traveling and compare notes about news bias.

NOTE: I haven't confirmed this, but I've heard that if I don't sync the Zune with my home machine in something like 14 days, all my Zune Pass music will stop being playable. This of course, sucks deeply if true. I suspect it is true as it feels DRMy and DRM is Satan. I'm heartened by the fact that more and more I can download for free via podcast many of my favorite news shows. DRM's on the way out, I think. Just another 10 years or so, hopefully. But, that's a DRM rant.

It took just minutes to hook the Zune up to the TV here. The family was thrilled and with DJ'ed late into the night. I'd encourage you to take your media library with you on your next trip. Pick up a camcorder cable from Radio Shack or your local cheapo electronics shop. Most people I know with iPods/Zunes don't realize that they have this functionality built in.

You can not only listen to music, but of course, bring your family photos and videos. You've got a complete media center in your pocket, and I'm sure uGogo (Grandma) will be thrilled to look at your slides. It's definitely improved our trip.

Our first trip to Africa with a baby was to Arusha, Tanzania when the older boy was just one. Because we were planning to go into the bush we got our shots, and had our pediatrician suggest the correct shots for the baby given his age and where we were going. Our town also has a dedicated Travel Clinic that is a great resource if you're heading anywhere off the beaten path (anywhere without an airport nearby, for example).

This trip, the older boy is 3 and the new baby just turned one. The flights on the way here were a short one hour hop to Seattle, followed by a 10 hour flight to Amsterdam, then an 11 hour flight to Johannesburg. There were layovers between them, as well. Total wheels-up, wheels-down flight time was about 22 hours, but door to door time was about 30 hours total. Here's a few of the techniques that we've used/developed to make it possible.

• Adult Sleep - Make sure the parents (that's you) get enough sleep the week before. More than usual even. We tried to get an extra 2 hours a night for the week prior to the trip. This not only cuts down on parents sniping at each other, but it goes a long way towards general sanity. Your kids will be tired. They will be tired beyond reason. If you are also, it'll suck for everyone.
• Packing - We've done more than a dozen international trips now, so we pack at least a week in advance now and we do it at a very leisurely pace. You'd be surprised how much stress can be avoided by being packed days before your trip. If you pack the night before you will forget something. My wife makes a list of the necessities, and we go back and forth over the list. I tend to pack very light (I did Malaysia for two weeks once with only one carry on), while Mo tends to push the limit by weighing her bags and trying to take the full 100 lbs. I lean more towards Tim Ferriss' style and I'd encourage you to. Depending on where you are going, chances are that they have the same stuff there that they do where you live. You can always buy toothpaste. You can buy diapers. Carry the stuff that your destination doesn't have. Carry special toys, books and blankets. Carry media and medical stuff. You can buy shampoo.
• Entertainment - Before each trip, we go to the Dollar Store (or Goodwill) and get a bunch of cheap toys and books that the boys haven't seen before. We don't unveil the toys until we are on the plane. We ration them as slowly as possible so there's still toys to be discovered on the flight back. We also picked up a portable Sony DVP-FX820 DVD player. We're not big on TV as it tends to hypnotize little minds, but when you're in hour 13 of a 30 hour  journey, your ideals go out the window. I'd encourage you to embrace this fact and make it work for you. We brought Thomas the Train, the Electric Company DVDs, and School House Rock. They were good enough for me in the 70s and they're good enough for my kids today.
• Food/Snacks - Don't count on crappy airline food to pacify your kids. We avoid bribing the kids with treats, except on long flights. At this time, all bets are off. If a box of raisins will buy me 20 minutes of peace, bam, here's some raisins. Take lots of fun, but nutritious snacks and full your kids full of them. Full bellies usually mean longer naps. We brought tiny raisin boxes, organic fruit rollups, granola bars, basically anything that doesn't have corn syrup and doesn't need to be refrigerated. We also try to move the kids to the destination time zone sooner than later, so we'll feed them dinner or breakfast based on the time zone of where we're going, even while we're still on plane.
  One other random food-related point, we encourage our kids to eat whatever's out there. As long as you make sure fruits are washed, and avoid ice at restaurants, we let the kids eat everything. Makes for strong stomachs. We do carry a doctor-prescribed dose of Cipro just in case something intestinal comes up, and we also travel with medical-trip insurance to cover all bases.
• Baby Jet-Lag - The difference between a 1-year old and a 3-year old when it comes to jet-lag is extreme. The 3-year old can be psychologically manipulated, the 1-year old not so much. Our three year old bounds into our room each morning announcing "the sun is up, it's time to wake up!" This was a problem for us, as we prefer to NOT get up at 5am, so we covered his window with a blanket and now he sleeps until 8am, when the sun is bright enough to shine through. We used the lights and the windows on the plane, as well as saying things like "it's soooo late!" to encourage him to sleep. He slept for 7 hours on one of the 10 hour flights, as did the little one (from exhaustion). When we arrived, however, the light tricks and encouragement have worked on the 3 year old, who, on this the third day, is back to sleeping 8pm to 8am. The infant however, is a mess, waking up at 3am (the time he'd usually wake up from his afternoon nap back in our time zone. So, we are taking a tip from science and getting him out in the sunshine early each day, making sure he gets exposed to it early and often, then removing the light in the evenings and trying to set a tone of "sleepy time." So far, he's starting to be up less each night and I suspect he'll be 90% local time by day 5. Most travelers say that it takes one day per time zone crossed to get your body truly oriented. I personally believe, baby or adult, that light exposure can cut that time in half.
• Routine and Resilience - Everyone wants a baby who can "roll with it" but babies love routine. In fact, if you do something twice, you may think nothing of it, but your baby may now consider it a routine. You can use this to your advantage. We mix routine with new stuff to make baby travel easier. For example, we may not be able to control the sleeping arrangements, but we can control if the baby sleeps on his favorite blanket. There may be a different bathtub each night, but the favorite rubber duck or bath toys can be there. We do the exact same bath time/bed time routine no matter where we are. Bath, Books, Bed. Same motions, same conversations. This routine assures the child that even though things have changed, nothing has changed.
• Airlines and the Baby Bulkhead - If you're going internationally, your plane has a "baby bulkhead" row. There's a queue in the airline's roster for family's flying. On many big planes it's row 10, but you can check out SeatGuru to find out which row for which plane. However, as I understand it, the gate reserves the right to assign these seats at the last minute, depending on who gets to the gate first. We always call the airline directly (if you've got a lap child/infant) and request to be put in the queue for this row. Then we show up really early and talk to the gate agents to get confirmed. You can only use this row if your baby is under 20 lbs, but if you can manage to get it anyway, most airlines have a small cardboard box you can request to put the baby in at your feet. The only trick is that you'll need to pick the baby up if the Fasten Seat Belts light turns on. We got Row 10 on the flight to Amsterdam, which was cool, but the luck of the draw was not with us on the flight to Joburg, and we ended up in row 45. Yes, that's right, the ass of the plane. Last row, next to the Flight Attendant's area. We initially thought this would suck, but it positioned us near the toilet, near the snacks, near a half-dozen flight attendants who were happy to make smiles at the babies, and we could recline our seats really far as there was no one behind us. It wasn't ideal, but if you can't get the bulkhead, the last row is actually not too bad for babies.

All this added up to a difficult, but not nightmarish or oppressive flight. Both boys did famously and are having a blast so far. I'd encourage you do try these tips (tweaking for your kids' personalities, of course) and get your kids of their home country and show them the world.

Every non-White or Mixed family has the "White Uncle." Someone's daughter or cousin or sister married Scott or Jeff or Gary and he's the White Guy at family reunions. That's me. My wife's family has been very open about it and haven't given me any trouble other than friendly teasing about excessive whiteness. Surprisingly though, I'm the only one you can dance in this family, but that's another post altogether.

(This works the opposite way also, where every White family has the Black Guy, or Gay Cousin, or Little Person, or whatever. This is about being "The Other One," in the family...color doesn't really matter. I also happen to be the "diabetic one" as well as the "computer guy" so you get the idea.)

Being the White Guy usually gives you an extra hit point or two and a +1 bonus against faux pas. Everyone will cut you some slack if you say something clueless.

"What's this?"

"It's goat liver."

"How does he not eat goat liver for breakfast?"

"Who knows, he's White!"

This also works the other way, when you, as the Other One, have some mysterious knowledge or powers. If you're the Black Girl in a White Family, people will freak out when you get braids and suddenly you've gained a foot of length overnight. Or, they'll give you a hard time for not going swimming after coming from the salon. Ashy knees are a mystery to White People as is Pink hair oil, Yakky, Ambi, and Braid Sheen.

I've just received a nasty sunburn (my fault for not putting sunscreen on) after walking 3 klicks to the mall yesterday. This is the talk of the house as it's not something you see everyday around this family.

"It's going to peel off? Gross! You guys are fragile!"

"Thanks for declaring that amaKiwa (White People) are fragile because we burn slightly under the oppressive heat of your thousand African suns!"

This is a typical back and forth with the family here. I heard something in the news last week the scientists have finally proven that, from a DNA perspective, all of us are something like 99.9% identical, regardless of race. That may be true, but after 8 years of marriage and many trips home, we learn new random crazy stuff about each other every time.

As an American, one of the things that stands out to me each time I visit South Africa is that everything is fenced. And not just fenced, but tall-concertina-wire-electric-angry-fenced. No country I've ever visited has fences this dramatic. 

People live in named communities (I can't help but to internally think of them as burbclaves) that are a collection of houses surrounded by a fence. These are similar to the named neighborhoods (developments) in the states, except for the posted guard and gate with a keypad. Once you're inside the community, each house still has their own fence, gates, and bars on the windows.

The South Africans I talked to don't think anything of it. One said "Good neighbors start with good fences." When I expressed my surprise at the fence culture, folks said things like "[Americans] are the ones that totally changed your  airport security system after 9/11. You're as much a culture of fear, or more so, than [South Africans] are."

This was an interesting observation, but of course, as an ethnocentric American, I didn't quite see it that way. ;) From the outside looking in, I see fence culture everywhere. I was flipping through an advertising insert in the local newspaper and it was filled with security options for your home. Many were focused on being very secure without looking overtly like security. There were steel blinds that could "withstand an attack from a 2kg hammer" while still looking stylish in your home. There's monitoring services and guard services.

Some South Africans I talked to about this said that fence culture has always been. First when the Whites in power separated themselves from the Blacks, and now when the "folks with stuff" separate themselves from the folks without stuff. The burbclaves I've seen are fairly mixed, with some leaning one way or the other, but generally, it seems, if you have the money to live somewhere, you can live there. For example, my brother-in-law's family stays in a community of 30 or so houses that has every color under the sun. The common thread is that they all live in this gated community. They all have satellite TV, washing machines, hot water, etc. Suburbs are suburbs in my experience, no matter where you are in the world. This might as well be Kansas, from an amenities point of view.

It seems to me that the distance between the haves and the have nots here in South Africa is fairly marked. This has been my experience in other African countries as well. Hiring a full-time maid is a fairly inexpensive prospect here, as is day labor or construction work.

Where things come into stark contrast is when you leave your community and venture out. So far I've been the only White guy walking anywhere. At the mall today, I was lost and I asked someone how to exit the mall. She asked where I parked, and when I said, I walked, she was visibly shocked. Not regular bemused, but taken aback. Apparently going somewhere without a car is an odd thing. I looked like a have, but was doing a have-not activity. Silly Americans I suppose.

My passport is nearly out of pages, and that nearly kept me from entering South Africa this weekend. South Africa has a strict rule that your passport not only expire more than 3 months in the future (which is common) but also that it have at least TWO full blank pages left.

The Situation

I knew this, but didn't worry about it because I have exactly two pages (23 and 24) left. However, when we arrived in Johannesburg Airport and started going through passport control, the young lady at the desk announced:

"Your Passport is full."

"Ah, well, it has two free pages at the back."

"NO. It's full. Those pages are for amendments, not Visas."

"Really? I didn't realize that. I'm not sure I know what an amendment is. Can we just use those and I'll promise to get more pages when I get back home?"

"No."

"Well, what can be done? Is there someone I can talk to?"

"What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm wondering if there's someone who might be able to help out with this problem."

"Are you implying I don't know how to do my job?"

"Um, no, not at all, I'm just trying to understand what the next steps are."

At this point, I'm literally stunned. The anger and negative vibe I'm getting here is really greater than ANYTHING I've ever felt before. We've had stones thrown at us by hooligans and had years of stares and negativity, but I'm really sensing that this lady HATES me, and I'm only a few sentences into our interaction here.

Then a older white guy comes over (the angry passport person was a very young Black lady) and asks what's up. It's clear that he's a peer from a job perspective. NOT a boss. In fact, there doesn't appear to be a boss anywhere to be seen. I'm used to some kind of passport overseer around.

Anyway, this guys says, "No, no, there's a new rule - there was a memo - that it's now OK to use the Amendments page on American Passports." This new rule is apparently a few months old.

I've been silent since my last sentence...but now the older guy and the young lady are starting to get into it, in front of me. He's saying that he'll take the responsibility/fall and sign whatever to get me my visa. She's saying no way. Then he snatches my passport from her and walks away sharper, declaring "...and now I have to do YOUR job."

The young lady is now mumbling under her breath in isiZulu about what an asshole both this guy and I am. But she's continuing to process the family's passport. A VERY long ten minutes pass and Older Guy comes over all apologies and light, saying he's sorry for the confusion and the trouble. He leaves.

The Young Lady gives us our passports and I say "Siyabonga sibili sisi..." She starts a little, but there's still steam coming out of her ears. But, we're through.

The Analysis

My wife is pretty steamed at this point, but not with Young Lady, instead with me. She feels I handled a very African situation in a very American way. Rather than being instantly and extremely submissive to the Person in Power, I was logical, and implied that perhaps a supervisor could break the impasse.

My brother in law feels that Americans in a service capacity (like a Passport Control Officer) typically don't want responsibility, preferring instead to defer to a supervisor who would ultimately take any heat from a decision. Africans, on the other hand, will assert any and all power that they have, almost a societal game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. A bus driver may be a "societal nobody" but he's still King of the Bus and he can kick Hobos and Presidents alike off the bus. This woman, for whatever reason, was asserting her Power, and when I didn't back down and say something like "Oh, my, I'm so sorry, I had no idea...can you help me?" I had already lost.

This interaction put a REALLY bad taste in my mouth, as it was an interaction that totally didn't go the way my mental script had laid it out.

As much as people are the same, cultures are VERY different. Now I realize that this Young Lady might have just broken up with her boyfriend or been oppressed by Whites her whole life. Or, maybe she just had a bad day and I got caught in the middle. I'll never know, but I do know that I was a biscuit away from being turned around (or calling the US Embassy) and came dangerously close to a ruined trip.

What's the moral of the story? I've travelled all over, and I think I'm pretty thoughtful, knowledgeable and even charming. This usually works great for me (has for 35 years) in interaction with folks. However, even after more than a half-dozen trips to various African countries, I'm reminded that I don't know much at all. I'm not quite sure what I could have done to make this interaction more successful, short of living in South Africa for more than a month at a time.

What do YOU think, Dear Reader? How do things work in your country between People with Power and People without? This might be as simple as an interaction between a customer and a waiter, or a loan officer, or a customs agent.