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Is your app an ass-kisser?
If your app was an employee, what kind of employee would it be? When it's employee performance review time, how would you rate it? These are just a few of the apps I've worked with recently...
What other app/product employee-types are there? Know any apps that need an employee appraisal?
Posted by Kathy on March 20, 2007 | Permalink
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» Employee types from Kathy Sierra from More than a living
Okay, I know shes using employee types to describe software applications.
But, I mean, cmon. Strip that away and youve still got some archetypal employee types.
This is well worth the read: Creating Passionate Users: Is your app an... [Read More]
Tracked on Mar 21, 2007 12:31:13 AM
» Is your app an ass-kisser? from Marketing For Nerds
Is your app an ass-kisser? By Kathy Sierra If your app was an employee, what kind of employee would it be? When it's employee performance review time, how would you rate it? These are just a few of the apps I've worked with recently... [Read More]
Tracked on Mar 21, 2007 2:22:35 AM
» What type are you? from afida
I am a fond reader of her blog and this time she is drawing an analogy between employee and the kind... [Read More]
Tracked on Mar 21, 2007 9:02:38 AM
» Persona grata from systematic viewpoints
Kathy Sierra creates personas for applications. Not only amusing as hell, but insightful as always.
... [Read More]
Tracked on Mar 21, 2007 7:25:08 PM
» Persönlichkeiten vonProgrammen from Ralphs Piratenblog
Bei Passionate gibt es einen sehr netten Artikel, welcher die verschiedenen Persönlichkeiten von Programmen aufzeigt.Ich Muss mich beim Abrechnen mit einem Programm rumschlagen, das hauptsächlich dem Typus Anal-Retentive-Guy entspricht ... [Read More]
Tracked on Mar 22, 2007 1:53:04 AM
» Software personality disorders from NevilleHobson.com
I had a big chuckle reading Is your app an ass-kisser, in which Kathy Sierra asks:
If your app was an employee, what kind of employee would it be? When its employee performance review time, how would you rate it? These are just a ... [Read More]
Tracked on Mar 22, 2007 6:50:51 AM
» If you app was an employee... from Kate Gregory's Blog
[Read More]
Tracked on Apr 3, 2007 10:24:52 AM
Comments
priceless.
Posted by: atmos | Mar 20, 2007 10:19:46 PM
Great post.
But it is unfortunate that most of the content is locked away in inaccessible image text. It also makes it hard to search. And copy n' paste. Plain old HTML text would be preferable here.
Posted by: Jon | Mar 20, 2007 11:21:10 PM
Great post! Very recognizable..
Why is it that we try to humanize everything...
Posted by: Raimo van der KLein | Mar 20, 2007 11:51:02 PM
Great list. A couple more to consider:
1. Never Finish Anything Guy: He starts out great but never seems to actually be able to take things to completion.
2. Business Journal Guy: He knows all the right buzzwords and TLA's but doesn't have a clue what any of it actually means. He'll make decisions based on whatever the current issue of Business 2.0 says is hot.
Posted by: James Snell | Mar 20, 2007 11:59:09 PM
Don't forget the newsy, office gossip app
Posted by: security | Mar 21, 2007 12:15:54 AM
Lesson learned: No matter what type, software is a male.
Posted by: Hanseric | Mar 21, 2007 12:21:13 AM
Well i dont know how u term guyz who will work only from 9 a.m -5 p.m & wont move an inch prior or post the given time.For them intelligence would be doing the same thing quicker not necessarily better.He is a cog of the wheel which runs irrespective of the nature of the cog
P.S: The above is an e.g of the Indian Civil servant
Posted by: Satz | Mar 21, 2007 1:17:36 AM
Very nice!
There are a bunch of other ones you could include, like the resource hog :)
Posted by: Matthew R. Miller | Mar 21, 2007 1:55:29 AM
awesome
Posted by: mktg4nerds | Mar 21, 2007 2:42:14 AM
Whose ass are we talking about?:-)
Posted by: Mario | Mar 21, 2007 2:51:31 AM
Spot on :-) But Jon is right layouting the text that you put in the pictures isn't terribly hard with CSS.
Posted by: Henrik | Mar 21, 2007 3:58:07 AM
It's really good to know what we don't wnat them to be, but the key question is what kind of employee do you want your app to be. If we can nail that, then designing it should be easier.
Posted by: John Dodds | Mar 21, 2007 4:10:52 AM
Maybe all of them are ass-kissers, they just choose a different ass. The question could very well be "whose ass *is* your app kissing?"
Posted by: Mario | Mar 21, 2007 5:10:30 AM
It's sad really. No Ninja Assassin App that silently and efficiently does exactly what needs to be done with grace and precision thanks to hours of dedicated and exhaustive studying and training. :(
The Ninja Assassin App anticipates your needs and "takes care of" anything that gets in the way of you accomplishing your mission. Plus, he's ultra stylish (in his all black ninja outfit), uses really cool weapons (the right tool for the job, not just the latest buzz tech. Centuries old shuriken anyone?), and is just plain awesome all around.
Posted by: Michael | Mar 21, 2007 7:30:03 AM
Great post. So are there any apps that do the job well, just like you'd expect them to?
Posted by: Jeff | Mar 21, 2007 8:22:53 AM
Adobe Photoshop is the Brilliant but Tempermental guy! I KNOW it can do amazing things for me, it's just figuring out how to make it do what I want it to do is still a mystery.
I would fire it, but there is nothing even remotely close to being as good, much less better.
Posted by: Laura Moncur | Mar 21, 2007 8:55:28 AM
Mr Not My Job
Every approach is swiftly deflected with a recommendation to use somebody else, some other tool or plug-in. Anything you actually want to achieve is, after all, not their job contrary to what you may have read/been told.
The reality is they are a confusing extra layer between you and what you really need - which may now unfortunately not be available at all.
[)amien
Posted by: Damien Guard | Mar 21, 2007 9:03:46 AM
Classic
Posted by: sadcox | Mar 21, 2007 9:47:06 AM
None of you use Windows boxes? How could you leave out Mr. Suicide Bomber? He's the one who blows himself up and takes all nearby processes with him.
Posted by: Foz | Mar 21, 2007 10:13:51 AM
Love this - it would be great as a poster! Tone, voice and personality of an app are such important components of the user experience.
Posted by: Lisa | Mar 21, 2007 10:14:32 AM
The Acheiver
Okay, I'll play the part of the contrary dinner guest, i.e., on the positive side, some apps actually deliver on their promise. I'm always looking to network with that app.
Posted by: Ed Illig | Mar 21, 2007 11:38:47 AM
My apps? I've written all kinds.
Ugly, perhaps even abrasive, and not too smart; but reliable, and gets the job done.
Hard to understand (complex). Until the two of you get to know each other, life can be painful. Once you're good friends, they're nice to have around, and you don't understand why nobody else likes them.
Pretty and simple. Don't do much, but can do those few things well, and look good too.
Posted by: Gregg Irwin | Mar 21, 2007 12:55:58 PM
How about:
the old fart app - been around so long that no one knows what it does but everyone is too afraid to get rid of it.
or
the nagging wife app - it worked before why did you try to fix it?
Posted by: Shaun | Mar 21, 2007 2:24:10 PM
How about "Mr. Resource Hog"? He grabs all the memory, ties up the clipboard, flashes psychodelic messages on the computer screen, and slows everything else down to a crawl. When he comes calling, it's time for lunch ...
Posted by: Mike L | Mar 21, 2007 6:20:14 PM
The Zen Buddhist app (lots of programming tools are like that).
It does not appear to make any sense at first. But once you learned to think its way, it is perfectly crystal clear. Unfortunately you cannot manage to share the clarity with the other initiates.
Posted by: David Allouche | Mar 21, 2007 7:49:33 PM
I like the Ninja app and the Zen app. I've encountered a number of the latter, not so many of the former. I've also encountered a large number of apps which MAY be Zen apps, but I've never made it through the initiation phase and spend my time just doing the one single task in one way because I know it works.
Perhaps another one would be
The Foreign Exchange Program. S/He speaks only a few words of english, just enough that you can get them to do simple tasks, and you don't speak their native Gibberish, but you're sure that there's a heap of hidden skills and talents there, if only you could find some way to communicate with each other.
I've used plenty of these apps, and it can be quite frustrating, a long period of trial and error and trawling online help will allow you to get some basic tasks working, but you're convinced that there's hidden depths in all those other tabs and menus. Check out Dr DivX, a conversion tool for converting movie files into DivX format, for a good example.
Posted by: CodeMonkey | Mar 21, 2007 9:20:56 PM
A female one for you: the "bunny boiler ex". When you decide you've had enough and it's time to move on, you can't without dire things happening to your family/data.
Posted by: Paddy Byers | Mar 22, 2007 3:22:32 AM
Smelly Smith
The guy is so capable and venerable, gets stuff done like a dream.. If only he could shower once in a while, took that finger out of the nose, left to the restroom before passing some gas, and washed his hands prior to returning he would be the perfect employee. We feel dirty just by seating in the cube across the wall.
Posted by: DrWatson | Mar 22, 2007 5:14:54 PM
Wow....I really love this post Kathy! In fact, All your posts are valuable and insight. It's more about how to do thing better and in a more innovative/creative way, then doing evaluation all days!
I just hate processing the performance review form. My rating is quite satisfactory but I do think that I can use those writing review document time for a better use.
No matter what, thank you for giving us so many great posts. I learn every time when I read your post. And you have created one more creative passioinate reader/user!
Posted by: Uta | Mar 23, 2007 11:36:45 AM
Very Good you Works.. I like you Blog (and Site)... I'm from Brasil...
Posted by: Alexandre | Mar 24, 2007 1:55:38 PM
Totally dig the black & white personas! Hilarious!
Posted by: Tipping Monkey | Mar 25, 2007 7:57:41 AM
What other app/product employee-types are there?Ones that're all black? All Asian? All Maori? All female?
Posted by: Katie | Mar 27, 2007 9:04:07 AM
I heard about this site due to the unfortunate business described elsewhere --- I totally support you and think you are right to be outraged.
More to the point, this post is hilarious, and in no small part because it's so apt. Programs have personality, just like the people who write them.
I'd take the premise one step further to say that operating systems are like places where you spend a lot of time -- homes, offices, whatever. I recently saw an old videotape I made of my home office ten years ago. "Oh yeah, Windows 95! I remember that place! Did a lot of good work, spent a lot of time there..."
I'm big into UI design and making an app that's accessible, discoverable, friendly... your posts and the responses here are pure gold. Please keep it up!
Posted by: Barry Seymour | Mar 27, 2007 1:27:33 PM
Very well done, and we thought that everyone was an individual…
Posted by: Leo | Mar 29, 2007 4:49:06 AM
I don't get why the objects of ridicule are all men
Posted by: John | Mar 29, 2007 2:37:45 PM
John--probably because in our culture, men are considered "default" people when you don't want to draw attention to a person's gender.
Sad. Hopefully changeable.
Glad you don't think of yourself as "neutral" but see that you have a gender just as much as any woman. You & people like you are the future I'm hoping we'll have.
Thanks.
Posted by: Katie | Mar 29, 2007 3:37:13 PM
The "You aren't good enough." Far too common in open source and single's bars, also known as open souse.
Posted by: joel garry | Apr 2, 2007 12:02:05 PM
Ninja, super hero types?
what? Never made an app that saves the world? :D
Posted by: KNOCKS | Apr 4, 2007 12:00:40 AM
Kathy Sierra,
We want u back,
your such a doll & a total sweetheart,
we love u
please cum back
ALL OF US FROM UK!
WE SUPPORT U!
NATE BRINCE
Posted by: Nate | Apr 12, 2007 7:07:07 AM
You forgot The Kludge. Sickly, complicated, inflexible and equipped only with various sizes and types of hammers.
Posted by: James Taylor | Apr 13, 2007 1:08:55 AM
What about the:
Overprotective Mother App:
The Mother app loves you very much, but is condescending and doesn't trust your abilities. It ends up doing a lot of things for you, that you can easily do yourself, and often she does it in a way that isn't the right fit. You often have to redo her work yourself when she isn't looking. It's a difficult relationship, because you can't get rid of her, after all, she is your mother.
Posted by: Sean Wolfe | Apr 16, 2007 9:48:26 PM
Electrons, Protons, Neutrons & Croutons.
Electrons are full of energy, but just run around in circles.
Protons are positive, but don't move very fast.
Neutrons are negative, and tend to absorb energy of the group.
Croutons occupy space, but have little mass or nutritional value, and tend to roll off the salad when you stick them with a fork.
Posted by: Bill McCuistion | Apr 18, 2007 12:59:12 PM
thank you
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thank you
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thank you
Posted by: chat | May 7, 2007 5:43:50 AM
You are suck a stupid twat. I hope someone really will kill you and eat your heart.
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Posted by: gun | Jun 9, 2007 11:44:23 AM
Absolutely love some of those pics! Just had to laugh as some of them are so true... in regards to you asking about what you should do, I don't know. I just launched a blog and could do with some help... but since I just found your post I have to have a dig around and see exactly what you're about, just like you'd have to do the same with me.
Posted by: Jacob | Jul 6, 2007 10:04:37 AM
Excellent post.
The only issue with people now and days is that they don't think. They'd rather someone else tell them what to do, and how to live their life.
Posted by: JP | Jul 7, 2007 6:15:58 AM
Wow, you have captured the generalities in a entertaining and concise way. I'm sure every office can place their employees into one of these categories without much thought!
Posted by: MA | Aug 20, 2007 12:48:12 PM
